Write It Out! & a very happy Youth Worker

I started writing this article when I was at the youth centre, in That Moment. The Moment when, after the workshop, everything’s back in its place, I sit down and think… I missed workshops, but delivering them is a completely different experience. I love it so much, and still, I find it hard to process. I think it was too good to be true. It’s called imposter syndrome. We’ve known each other for a while now.

First I wrote in English, I deleted it, I switched to Romanian because it seemed to work better, and now (00.09 - 1.20 am, Romanian time) I got home and continued what I began. So far this text didn’t flow, but that never stopped me from being honest and writing what I feel.

I was nervous. For one, I still don’t see public speaking as one of my strong points and I’m scared that people won’t understand what I say, that I won’t explain well enough. But when I saw my participants gathering, I made myself a coffee, drank some water, and got myself together. Then, my initial goal was to have 5 participants, I had 16 signed up and 12 showed up. I wasn’t expecting it, but I’m so happy to see that young people want to write. I wasn’t expecting it because I know how creativity is not something really cultivated by Romanian schools and society. On Wednesday morning I explored this exact topic with Jeanine on a podcast (I’ll spam you when it’s out, don’t worry). You need a serious dose of courage to allow yourself to be creative and especially to write, to do creative writing. Wherever you are. After all, you’re putting your soul out on a silver platter. The fact that so many awesome young people gathered in the ‘town where you hang Romania’s map’ to write on a June Saturday morning seems absolutely incredible to me.

Just so you know, Bea - the Youth Worker can’t really process what happened. I was there, talking, observing, living the moment, and now I have to re-watch it as if it were a film. From the facilitator’s perspective, it looked beautiful and I hope the room had the same vibe. It was so lovely to see participants scattered all around the centre, writing wherever they could. It was nice to study creative writing, but oh how much better it is to share it. And the feedback… <3. Although we were offline, I chose to use a projector with slides and a Menti instead of flipchart paper and sticky notes, so now I have such a great PDF with feedback. The best cure for when the impostor emerges from the depths of my brain and tries to invalidate me, it’s these little pieces of feedback. Sorry, imposter, but you can’t deny what’s written there, try as you might.

I learned from this experience myself. # Any opportunity can be a learning opportunity. And it’s not just the growth, but also the fact that I had some ideas validated. What I do is good. Of course, it wasn’t a perfect-perfect workshop and I don’t ever expect it to be. Life would be too boring if everything was perfect. However, I saw that young people want these opportunities and need them. In a world where formal education leaves you without any energy or creativity, non-formal education is a breath of fresh air. I hope that today I managed to encourage some young people to continue to write, as a hobby or even more. I’m so happy to see young people doing something they resonate with. They have a certain sparkle in their eye. It’s painful to think how many people lose that sparkle and how I could’ve lost it too without DEIS.

I want more and I’ll do it. I can’t wait to test the waters in the UK too. With this group, it’s pretty clear that I’ve got no other choice but to continue with a Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 and so on (even online). I’m so grateful for the trust that the participants have put in me and that it was great. Thank you!