What does it mean to be a woman?

In the last year I've been doing a lot of work with women. I run a girls-group for young women and girls for a youth organisation, and I coordinate a project on consent and relationships with a very strong component against gender-based violence. Also, statistically, most of my colleagues are women, followed by queer and nonbinary folks, and only then men.

I said this before - the song that defines my gender identity is Androgynous, originally sung by the Replacements, but my fav version is the one with Joan Jett, Miley, and Laura Jane Grace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR6mM_zfxwE

...she don't need advice that'll center her

She's happy with the way she looks, she's happy with her gender.

This year made me wonder a lot what it meant to be a woman. Is it about your clothes and make-up? Is it about your experiences? Is it about your hobbies? Is it about whether or not you have earrings? Is it about abortions and contraceptives? Smear tests? Cooking and cleaning? Kids? Witchcraft?

It is about all of the above and none of the above.

'Woman' is a label. You wear it how you want to. Your identity is your own. Before I am a 'woman', I am a youth worker, a blogger, a Konyves (person with books), a friend, a project coordinator... Being a woman is not one of my top 5 characteristics.

Whenever I work with young people , I care about who they are individually. Sure, if we're women, we're all ticking the same box if we're asked what our gender identity is, but we're all different in the way we express it. I don't wear dresses, but I wear make-up and love high heels every now and then. I even have earrings now. I hate it when my hair grows too long, but its red colour is an integral part of who I am. Being sly like a fox - or creative - is a feminine trait, but I would've been burned at the stake for the way I say things in people's faces.

I constantly challenge things I don't agree with. It's one of my favourite parts in all the work that I do. It's so f*cking ridiculous that until a century ago we weren't allowed to vote because we have a vagina. It's unbelievable how little research there is on how women's bodies work and we are clueless how to treat endometriosis without pumping women full of hormones or how to manage hyperemesis gravidarum. It's scandalous that in some parts of the world in annum domini 2025, women can't choose not to have kids. Women are statistically more likely to experience any type of sexual violence - cat calling, unsolicited dick pics, staring, upskirting/downblousing, spiking, harassment, stalking, rape, domestic violence. It's all because we tick the same box if we're asked what our gender identity is and someone decided we're the weak ones.

And I say, like a true lady... Fuck Off.

We're all humans here. We all have different strengths. Sure, a bloke can overpower a chick. But can we not? Because I'm sure the number of women abused isn't an indicator of masculinity.

In the last year I've been doing a lot of work with women. I often find myself asking them to text me when they get home. Share their location with me. Be careful. I acted as a human shield against men trying to forcefully flirt with my fem presenting friends. It's tiresome.

Being a woman is tiresome. It's unlikely that within my lifetime it will stop being tiresome. But I am here to fight. Today is International Women's Day and in 2025 its slogan is For ALL Women and Girls: Rights. Equality. Empowerment.

Dear woman, nonbinary folk, man, or whatever suits you best,

If you are reading this, it's most likely you are also one of the fighters for an equitable world. Your fight might look different than mine - maybe you've raised your child to know that their gender doesn't define nor limit them, maybe you drove a friend home to make sure they get there safely, maybe you listened to someone sharing the most painful experience of their life, maybe you reposted something... Your effort is appreciated. Thank you. You are not alone.