The one about control…

I had something on my mind since Saturday - the fact that I couldn’t donate blood, triggered a very nagging conversation between my inner critic (‘this body of ours isn’t good enough’) and my inner… optimist (‘look at you doing so many awesome things, we don’t need to sacrifice our *physical body* to help’). All of this because my vein - which I have zero control over - wasn’t visible enough. But what else was there? Well, if I can’t control my body, it can affect my Achiever productivity. And I’m terrified of that. It makes so much sense.

That inner critic (or impostor) of mine has been one of my biggest enemies for years. I developed that inner optimist to shut it up. Yes, I’m great and all that. 10/10 for appreciating myself. However, that inner critic has some interesting things to tell me. It’s just really bad at giving feedback and communicating. Instead of shutting it up, I need to learn to patiently ask questions and see what’s it talking about. It can and will help me grow. Next time it comes around, I might try to write down the dialogue between us. Could be a fun exercise.

Oh and… I need to learn to ask questions without expecting an immediate answer from myself. Try to get comfortable with the unknown. A bit scary, but I’m intrigued to try it.