New year, same me

Writing my daily short Muddy Shoes posts, I’ve been reflecting on everything that happened this year as it happened. As much as I enjoy that, it has somewhat affected my… will to reflect on the bigger picture and put things in context. I almost didn’t want to write this article. However, I know I need it, so here we go.

2022 is another one in a streak of strange years. I think it’s safe to say that * this * is not how I expected my young adult life to start - a pandemic, a war, and a recession. Probably the last generation that kickstarted adulthood with all that was that of our great- or great-great-grandparents (WW1, Spanish Flu, Great Depression), but we are going through it on fast-forward. How do I feel about all that? Under pressure. Confused. Also, I feel… in a bubble. All that is happening, is happening around me.

If I look at my own 2022, disregarding everything else, I feel great overall. This was one of the best (calendar) years of my life:

• got accepted into (what I can call) my dream MA

• wrote an awesome undergrad dissertation

• started writing my first novel (and I MUST finish it by August)

• got published in the Greenwich Anthology

• graduated

• started to drink water (after a nasty kidney infection that sent me straight to the Urgent Care Centre near me)

• did a bunch of events with DEIS UK and DEIS Ro

• started my MA in Applied Anthropology & Community & Youth Work

• started a new job

• read (over) 50 books

and…

• got engaged!

Not everything was perfect. I also lost my Grandpa this year which is why I’m wearing a black guitar pic on my necklace. This was the first time I lost a significant person in my life. I find myself thinking a lot more about my Grandma who’s now alone after almost 60 years of marriage. Some of the books I read this year were about grief and now I understand them all in a different light. It’s a process and I’m allowing myself to go through it slowly and naturally.

As much as I like to carry the whole world upon my shoulders, I know I shouldn’t. Instead of dreading that bubble feeling maybe I should just… let it be. Easy for me to write that, right? Not really, to be honest. I wasn’t aware of this when I started this article. Something shifted inside me as I wrote this. I focused - a technique that my therapist suggested during the trial session back in September. In January I’ll start the 6 sessions and I’ll learn how to do this better. I like that.

New year, same me. Of course, I’ve [changed] grown. I haven’t * changed * in a long while. I’m still me - same values, same mission, same passions - and for the most part I’m very pleased with myself. This didn’t just happen overnight. It takes time to create yourself and it’s extremely important that you have the right people around you while you do it. However, even after you’ve created yourself, you should never stop working and perfecting yourself. Fine-tuning yourself. That’s why I’ll start going to therapy, for example. I also signed up for yoga classes at artFix for a better (physical) self. I’m the same me, but there’s always room for growth.

In 2023, I wish everyone the right opportunities and the right people to stand by your side while you create yourselves. If you already have yourself, then I wish you peaceful development and growth. And if you’re tired of life lessons (as I also occasionally am), then I hope you have an uneventful new year with plenty of time to breathe. Don’t forget to drink water!