A Warm Coat

Zoya, you need to put on a warm coat! It’s only March. What if it’s gonna start raining or snowing? You can’t wear that outside… All rapists will jump…

No. I took my coat, but I am not changing my clothes. Maybe I’ll put on some jeans though… My mum was right, it is only March. I’ll tie my hair up in a ponytail… or a bun. That’s better. And my earrings.

Golden earrings with red, green and blue gems that look like a flat matryoshka. A grey coat and blue jeans. Long blonde hair in a bun. Pink lipstick and little makeup.

I’m meeting Jayden at 7 pm. I’ll take the first train and I should be just in time. It’s raining - small drops, I can barely feel them. It should stop soon. The train is here. I’ll sit on the left, near the window.

A family - a father, a mother and a little girl are waiting for another train. He is an alcoholic and he’s always so aggressive when he’s drinking. When he is very drunk he touches me but mama says he just gets us confused. I don’t get how someone can get a 6-year-old confused with a fully grown woman, but I guess mama is right. She always is. Last night he came home sober - very unusual. Mama talked to him about something. I hope it is the school trip to Kyiv. No shouting, just talking - unusual. I hear the words school and Kyiv - there is a chance I’ll go. Mama comes to me after a while and quickly gives me some money for the reason I was expecting. But she gives me more money and says she’ll explain to me what to do with them when the time is right.

An Asian woman gets on the train at the next station. Fishnets and a very short dress. Not skinny at all. Red and black coat. Fake eyelashes.

I don’t like her. Why has the train stopped? You can hardly ever understand any announcement made on the train… Someone is talking about a fire on the tracks. I’m getting off. I text Jayden - I might be late for our date and I don’t want him to think I dumped him like this. There’s still a chance I will get there in time.

‘Hi! Do you know anything about this train?’

It’s the Asian woman. ‘No. It’s just not going anywhere.’

‘Where are you going?’

I don’t like talking to people. ‘London Bridge.’

‘What a coincidence, me too! Do you know any alternatives?’

I’ll be stuck with her for the entire journey. ‘Yes. I am taking a bus and then the Jubilee line. Takes a lot, but gets you there.’

‘May I join you?’

Not really, thank you. ‘Yes, sure’.

We are both on the bus. She talks about her family back home. She is going to a club to meet new people after she was dumped on the 8th date. Why the 8th date? The weather is still weird. It’s raining. Taking my coat was a good idea after all. It was a very cold morning. My mama insisted that I’d take another coat with me and many clothes. And my toys. But I was coming back in a few days - I couldn’t understand why was she doing this. She was also very stressed. The bus is already at the school gate when we get there. Mama talks to the teacher about something. They both seem concerned. They are adults, they’re always concerned. But now I am concerned too because mama told me that we will meet in Kyiv on the last day of my trip.

‘This traffic is terrible.’

Shut up… My mind is somewhere else and I like it there. ‘Yes.’

‘How long do you think it will take?’

‘Some time. I don’t know.’ Now leave me alone.

The bus is getting close to North Greenwich. I arrived in Kyiv. It was as beautiful as I expected but I couldn’t be happy about it. My little backpack was filled with clothes and toys. My back hurts. On the last day, mama arrived as promised. She was bruised - my father sometimes beats her. He doesn’t beat me, but he always says I’m too young to be beaten and once I am 10 he will beat me too. I don’t like how mama looks with bruised eyes and swollen lips. I don’t want my father to do that to me. Mama knows what I’m thinking and she tells me I will never see him again.

‘We need to get off here.’

‘I’ve never seen this place. How long have you been in the UK?’

‘Many years. Travelled the world for a while then got here.’ I don’t want to tell her more. Please don’t ask.

‘That’s so cool!’

No, it’s not. ‘Yes.’

So many people. So hot. Always smells horrible down here. At least the trains aren’t crowded. We sit down. She has no idea where she is. I was on another train with mama. She had bigger bags. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. Mama seemed happy. I gave mama the extra-money and she was even happier. We got off in another country.

‘This is London Bridge. We’re getting off here. Good-bye!’

I took off through the crowd. I wasn’t late for my date. A beggar with his dog in the cold. Outside the station. I miss my dog, but I think my father just let him die after mama and I ran away. He probably let himself die too. Unless mama went back to him. I went back to Jayden. Mama might have done it too.

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Want to know more about the story? Take a look at this adventure of my Muddy Shoes! https://bit.ly/coat-explained-en