21 and going through the quarter-life crisis

21. What does that even mean?

21 and going through what I discovered is called ‘quarter-life crisis’ - I think.

As a kid, I couldn’t wait to become a teenager and a young adult. Now, as a young adult, I’m scared I’ll have to ‘grow out of it’. I know too well that adulthood is just a myth and I know so many adults who are happy and they’re not much different to who I am right now. This is what keeps me afloat (and I want to thank you all for this). At the same time, I feel some sort of pressure around me, affecting me indirectly, and insisting that at this age I should stop dreaming, I should stop creating, I should stop growing, I should stop learning, I should stop reading. Basically, I should stop everything I am doing right now. What should I do instead? I don’t know. Probably get a 9 to 5 job that pays the bills, buy a house and a car, and start a family. I believe this is what society regards as the ‘adults’ dream’.

While these annoying thoughts keep bugging me, I keep building my dream. We are 10 days away from officially launching DEIS UK. I’ve one more year of uni and then I want to go onto a Masters in Youth Work (Applied Anthropology, Youth & Community Work - to give you the full name). I am working on writing projects with essays, short stories, blog articles, soon I’ll even start working on a novel.

I read a lot

and

I’m scared that

as an adult

I’ll have

to

stop

reading.

Of all the thoughts fueling my quarter-life crisis, this is the scariest. I know too many adults who stopped reading. I cannot imagine my life without a book by my side, whether it’s a physical book or an ebook that I can read on my phone or e-reader.

Crisis aside, I am more than happy with where I am in life right now. At 21 I’m making my DEIS UK dream come true. At 21 I’ll hopefully get to see my parents, grandparents, family, friends, hometown, youth centre. At 21 I’ll finish uni. At 21 I’m still reading. If THIS is how my life will feel going forward then sign me up! Of course, life will have its highs and lows and my overthinking brain will always find something to try to sabotage me. However, so far I have managed to surround myself with people who I can trust and who can and will support me.

To all the awesome adults who show me that there’s happiness after teenage, and to all the teenagers who will grow up to be awesome adults...

So raise your glass if you are wrong… in all the right ways.